


Fireworks Set to Burn You Down

by nonky



Category: Nancy Drew (TV 2019)
Genre: Gen, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23119627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Carson had said it a lot. “You're my daughter.” He'd said it with pride, joy, and a degree of forcefulness from a soft-spoken man. He'd always said it as if it was something to uphold. He'd been spoiling for a fight with the Hudsons Nancy's entire life, but it was a fight he feared.Big spoiler from Episode 16.
Relationships: Carson Drew & Nancy Drew, Nancy Drew & Ryan Hudson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61
Collections: Nancy Drew TV Series (2019)





	Fireworks Set to Burn You Down

Nancy Drew was barely able to move for pain and so overwhelmed her mind had actually stopped racing when she understood Lucy Sable's voice. 

Lucy roared because she couldn't shout. She screamed because it would have been inadequate to sing lullabies or whisper soft encouragement, or even sob open-mouthed. She had been robbed of life, and cheated of fulfillment of a dream begun sourly but held so tight her own mother hadn't found her out. Her whole world had turned into an ironic dirty trick, every attempt to maintain her fidelity to Ryan used as a way to shame her for loving sincerely. 

But at least she knew now. She'd called for her mother to haunt her, and her mother had listened. Nancy just hadn't recognized her at first. She had always had two, and now had two mothers to grieve.

Going from straight As, popularity and being Sea Queen to barely passing grades and losing her mother and her friends had felt catastrophic before. It was still massive. There was no point comparing the pain of being ruined, but Nancy had the cold comfort of knowing it was all by chance. No one had set it into motion deliberately. Cancer didn't write hateful emails or spread rumours lashing the thin skin above the absurdly cheerful pink of a dress chosen to hide a baby only Lucy had wanted.

Mom and Dad wanted me, Nancy reminded herself. They didn't know to expect me, but they wanted me anyway. 

She had a makeup mirror propped on her desk, her own face the closest she had to being able to know her young mother. Her eyes welled with tears and she watched it crumple. Even the sadness evoked a familiarity. She'd hadn't seen Lucy alive in anything but short videos, but she'd seen Ryan Hudson's face twisted with pain. 

Her own father didn't know what to say. He'd been trying so hard to find the right words. It was agonizing to try to hate him when his every shuddering word was groaning with the weight of love and worry. Kate Drew might have been able to explain it well enough. She was good at the big picture. Her work was all about seeing the greatest need and rushing into horrendous messes to give aid. 

Nancy felt more like her ghostly mother than her living one. She kept trying to settle the emotion and see the day for what it was. She'd dressed that morning knowing she was haunted, marked by a deal with a demon, had just slept with a man she didn't know that well, and might be watching her father go to prison forever. By dark she'd freed her father and it was a miracle. She should be able to step back and acknowledge it was the best the day could have offered. 

She wanted a thousand showers, and her stomach was twisting. Crying just made her eyes sore, and as much as she wanted to run downstairs and throw herself into Carson Drew's arms he wasn't her real father. They hadn't needed to lie to her this long. She'd always been mature. Somewhere in her childhood the right time to tell her had passed without the right words. Now she had to imagine them, and her mind didn't have the strength. 

Carson had sunk into a chair at the dining room table as she yelled at him. Nancy barely remembered what had come out, but she knew it was cruel and ungrateful. She couldn't apologize. She might have found an inherited streak of nastiness from her newly discovered grandmother Celia. No one in the Drew household had ever said things like it.

My grandparents pay for people to be killed, she thought numbly. I've had both my father and grandfather arrested for murder, and I was only wrong about one of them. They didn't want me to exist.

She should be thankful the Drews had raised her. She was thankful. Her childhood hadn't gone away. Every memory was still there, but it was like a badly shelved library. Jagged corners of new books stuck out from the warm worn down covers of old favourites. She would have to reread things to find an order to her life. She had to rebuild herself on the inside and hide the changes with secrets. 

The Hudsons couldn't find out. Her father didn't give any rebuttal for anything she called him, but he kept repeating it sadly. If she was going to be safe, ever, the Hudsons couldn't for a moment wonder at her light hair and eyes. They couldn't catch her looking at them too long, or question her poise. They had to look at her and see a Drew, sensing no rift between Nancy and the man who'd raised her with that vital lie repeated until it was a mantra. 

Carson had said it a lot. “You're my daughter.” He'd said it with pride, joy, and a degree of forcefulness from a soft-spoken man. He'd always said it as if it was something to uphold. He'd been spoiling for a fight with the Hudsons Nancy's entire life, but it was a fight he feared. 

She knew three of her four parents had done their best and loved her. Ryan was a wild card. He'd been icy or friendly at turns, but he'd been raised by the same people who thought nothing of breaking his heart to keep him from marrying a middle class girl. When they couldn't make Ryan see her as trash, they'd made the whole town call her trashy until even Lucy had started to believe it. 

If Carson was her faithful and loving father, Ryan was his opposite. His affair with George had started when Nancy's friend was still in high school. He'd thought little about cheating on Tiffany until she died and it made him a suspect. He didn't have the implacable Hudson armor, but it didn't make him a nicer person. He'd been a notorious drunk, and had plotted with Nancy to have her break into the Hudson valuables and steal in exchange for getting her into an exclusive party. 

Nancy cringed. She'd been her biological father's date to an orgy ball. She'd hated him at the time, but it was the night she'd met Celia. Her biological grandmother might have recycled the very same friendly warning she gave Lucy. It was tempting to picture her two family trees rotten with bad apples, and nowhere to fall that didn't make her at least a bruised one. 

She was an individual and an adult. Her actions made the difference. Nancy had to stop crying over what had no remedy. She sat up and pushed her hair back with a frown, then hurried downstairs to find her father in the living room sitting stiffly on the sofa. 

“My birthday always had fireworks,” she said bluntly. The careful math to hide her age had hidden the significance of the tradition. 

Carson smiled sadly. “You were our little bright spark, the only thing good from a very dark moment. Your mom and I wanted you to have something special on the real day. I know you're angry. You can be angry forever, if you need to. We had to keep you safe. That was our purpose.”

She was speechless, eyes too dry to cry anymore, unable to answer and unable to sit in the same room. Nancy looked at her feet until she could shuffle back to her room. She felt a lot older than the few months she'd gained with her new birthdate.


End file.
